hi there,
i was planning to make this a quick rant, but i have too much good stuff to lash about to not release it all out.
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potential reader should probably skip all of this segmented part. XD
first of all, ***. the failing club. the one ruled by a myopic wannabe-but-refuses-to-see-he-is-a tyrant. the pseudodemocratic club. the whatthefuckhappenedtoitbeingfun club.
i don’t fucking care about it anymore. it’s such a hassle and the stupidest waste of time. makes me wonder why i even joined it in the first place. i just thought it’d be cool and fun and a way to exercise my leadership and other skills. yes, i landed myself an officer position…. which was more or less not taken seriously because the organization of the club effing sucks dick! so i showed my temper a few times. so i disagreed pretty often. so i wanted my opinions, views, and basically my way to be seen by others and seriously considered. honestly, if that’s why you saw me fit to be demoted, simply because i’m hot-headed and passionate, you’re horrible at judging the true character of an individual. always saying something and then following up with a, “no, i don’t mean that way or ______, or _____, ___, or even ____. i just want ____.” yes. what you just want, right? and whenever you say that, one tries to make you see things eye-to-eye with them, as i have tried doing so much in the beginning six months, but ultimately realized how stupid you are for still refusing to understand others’ well-thought opinions and continuously and adamantly pressing yours for further justification and indicting others for “lack of dedication” when we don’t really give a shit because you’re probably the sole reason why i don’t give a shit right now either because you’re a mofucking tyrant, who made those stupid ass rules - oh excuse me - a fucking constitution (should i make a bill of rights listing all the things i want to fix or will that get shot down as well like it always does?), and ultimately those long-winded, ambiguous, confusing, interminable emails and messages that i really don’t have the time to read and fucking ANALYZE.
we are not a democratic club. why are you making things so complicated? in the beginning, i have already stressed and warned you about making things so complicated. you really should have listened and made things simpler. it’s for the benefit of the club.. yeah.. actually, i don’t care what benefits the club anymore. as i’ve said before, i only joined because i thought it’d be fun and stuff. but it’s not. should i hang on for a little while more or quit?
anyway, you take things wayyyy too seriously. you judge others wayyyy too much, and only based on your biased point-of-view. besides, you don’t know much about your officers or members outside of the club. you don’t seem to appreciate others’ constructive criticism and always want things your wayyyy, which often is the wrong wayyyy. you have wayyyy too high standards for a high school film club. you don’t know how to have fun. you just don’t understand the feelings of your officers. there are people who actually really do care about the club, but we’re all refusing to cooperate with you right now because you’re being a faggot. you’re not clear or concise. you always overcomplicate things by implementing bad plan after bad plan and always speak too much bullshit that most people don’t want to hear because we already know what you’re going to say is not worthwhile. you say that “harsh punishments” will be served to those who do not fulfill their job up to par. well…firstly, my current “job” seems very stupid and unsatisfactory and unnecessary. why demote me when you know demotions OBVIOUSLY make “your worker” despise you and refuse to work under you? plus, when did i ever do a bad job or not take things seriously…? i gave this damn club so much time and dedication, but it was never received apparently. damn waste of time. in fact, it might have been a waste of time to have even written all of this here, so i shan’t say anymore. i only either want to show you up or make you say sorry and ask for forgiveness and admit all your faults and fix yourself along with your club.
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on a lighter note, let’s talk more about my past few days.
i feel very guilty for not starting my serious AP studying until now. i made a deal with mom that if i get 5’s on both my tests, then i can order online at zipia! :P
plus it motivates me to lose weight if i get to buy clothes from zipia.
and my healthy diet is working! i don’t crave junk food anymore. just gotta eliminate the bad stuff from your diet, and you can slowly and surely lose pounds.
i vow to exercise my ass off (literally) in the summer. gotta look forward to pool parties and just looking nice for senior year.
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finished gundam seed, FINALLY. and damn, it was good. made me think a lot about war - it’s causes, purpose, ways to end it, etc. i made tons of notes about stuff the characters said and analyzed most of them, from their motives to their feelings. i even tried writing a persuasive essay about how war is unnecessary and does not really bring peace, and what we should actually be fighting is fighting itself, but damn, do you know how hard that is? to actually be able to persuade countries to stop fighting…at this point in time, i don’t see it possible. maybe in the future, but who knows. anyway, i think there are better solutions to strife than fighting and losing lives over it, in the end to never have really accomplished anything relative to peace.
back to seed. its gundams aren’t really strong (at least, not as strong as the ones in gundam wing), but the story is very good. all of the main cast was really well-rounded. i enjoy plots that get my mind working. it’s so realistic.
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arghhh i’m sleepy again. but no! i can’t sleep because i have to study.. TT____TT
